Remember, forgiveness is a process; all the characteristics of genuine forgiveness will not always be present, but they should become increasingly apparent along the journey.
An entangled affair is always the result of an intimacy deficit in the marital relationship.
As a result, Stuart developed an entirely new respect for her.
When Angela chose to forgive her husband, Stuart knew it was for real this time, and he could therefore begin to grieve his losses.
When Angela finally got angry and both she and Stuart began to grieve, it was like a huge festering sore that had finally been lanced.
Take each step as you both can handle it, adapting it to your own situation.In her heart, however, Angela was dying a slow death.Stuart seemed appreciative of her quick forgiveness—after all, that was his style too: His slogans of “Move on,” “Get over it,” and “Don’t look back” helped him to soon forget it too.But the best part is that they know for certain that they have forgiven one another.As a result, they know that their relationship is growing closer as time goes by, not more distant.But when Angela finally expressed her rage and began to struggle toward forgiveness on the basis of her true feelings, instead of denial, she was able to approach forgiveness.In effect, she was moving toward forgiveness right through her anger, not by going around it.Angela claimed that she had forgiven her wayward husband, but I had a hunch that hers had been a surface–only forgiveness and that her depression was the result of buried feelings of hostility toward her unfaithful husband.After the affair Angela determined to go on as though nothing happened and be a “hero of God’s grace.” She kept a stiff upper lip in their church circle and was viewed as a paragon of virtue.Stuart, who had begun to feel like a second-class citizen in the church, could finally begin to feel better about himself, because his sin had been fully recognized by the one he had hurt—his wife.The two have a newfound respect for each other, and the children are doing a lot better, too.