Plus, not having adequately prepared for these practical aspects of sex may signal an overall non-readiness to engage in it.
At some point during their courtship, many dating couples decide its time to break down initial boundaries -- be they emotional, physical, or both -- and engage in a sexual relationship.
"It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other's character traits" says Susanne Alexander, a relationship coach and author of Can We Dance? "Some couples then slide into engagement and marriage only to discover they have missed seeing major aspects of each other." While not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship, couples do owe it to themselves to talk about where they see their relationship going and how sex might change the relationship -- before they get in bed together. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way," Allen tells Web MD.
After seeing how incredibly practical the book is, I wanted to get it into the hands of every teenager in our ministry. Stanley has taken some heat for his theology, but I think some people just don’t like his approach. We purchased the four-week small-group DVD set and gave each leader a copy of the book a month in advance."You might find that you don't even like the person," Allen tells Web MD.Other experts agree that sex too-soon can lead to undesirable consequences.Concern about STDs and unwanted pregnancies can help create sexual boundaries, believes Mc Clary.If, for instance, you're on the fence about whether or not to take sexual activity to the next level, a healthy dose of fear may cause you to pause, particularly if you're not prepared to take the necessary precautions.While a dating partner may not welcome this news, it at least can minimize later disappointments.So, too, does an up-front conversation about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)."The risks of STDS have got to be discussed and prevented from spreading," Allen tells Web MD."I say definitely use condoms, even if you're in a committed relationship," she adds.Whether you're new to the dating scene, a regular player, or jumping back into the game after a long hiatus, the same questions about dating rules apply: How soon do you lean over for that first kiss? And last -- but by no means least -- how do you know when the time is right for sex?"There's really no formula that I've encountered," says 28-year-old Andrew Reymer, a single resident of Baltimore, Maryland.